if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
