I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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