Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize