I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You ate ashes out of my bong
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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