Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize