If i could tip my vagina, i would.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Did I show you my penis last night?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
