just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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