good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
