alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
