I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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