guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize