Sry I called you an 8
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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