Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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