There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
