he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
