I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
