Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
