is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Randomize
