what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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