The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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