I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
