So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
