she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
