U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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