I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
