I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
