There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
