your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
