I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
