Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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