ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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