To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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