ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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