There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
