He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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