i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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