She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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