I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
