David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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