forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
