If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
