I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Everyone says I win the strip club
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
