Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
