I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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