At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I party with great urgency now.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
