You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
