Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
