Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
