I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
