I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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