just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
