he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
