I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
