Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
