I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
