Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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