Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
