i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
