I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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